Fighting the Battle of What I Want To Do With My Life, Fighting For My Dreams

      For so long I just knew what I wanted to do with my life. I thought I had it all figured out, exactly what I wanted to do. Then I had a change of heart, and even that has changed, and now I am in a contradiction with myself. 
      I used to want to be a lawyer, and I was going to go to UNC Chapel Hill. That lasted for so long. I changed my mind on being a lawyer, I even shot out the thought of going to UNC. I realized I wanted to go to that college because that was the team I liked. There's no doubt about it, I do love UNC Tar Heels, they are my by far my favorite team, but I wasn't looking for the best college suited for what I wanted to do, or went along with my faith, or the type of vicinity I wanted around me. I started looking at other colleges, and I found one, one that I truly wanted to go to that checked off everything on my list. Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. That's where I want to go, and even though I changed my mind a second time after the lawyer idea, there was no way anyone could talk me out of going to this college, this is where my heart is set to go, this is where I feel God has led me to go. 
      So the second idea I had was being a History Professor, just because I love history, but I came to terms that wasn't going to work out. I had no problem with teaching, or history, it was the road I had to go down to get there. So that was crossed off my list. 
      Now for my contradiction. I love to write, and most people don't know I write, and that I write all the time, unless you read this blog. Then you probably think that I hardly write at all. Well, I do like to blog, but most of my writing that I like to do does not come from writing about my own life, it comes from writing about what my life could be like. It's not fake, it's more like realistic-fiction. It hasn't happened to me, but it could happen to anyone. I kind of put my dreams, fantasy's, imagination all in to a book. I have written a couple, but at this point in time, I would never let a single soul read any of them. They may be written, but they are not edited. They need a lot of modifications for someone to read them. I worked on one for about two years. The one I am working on now has been going on since summer 2013. So I really like to write. I have another love, and most of you who know me might be thinking I am about to say music, and truth be told I have written a couple of songs, but I guess it's more of my escape, music is my love, but if I make it my profession, I don't think that it will be my therapy anymore because I would be doing it everyday, but I guess I am not 100% ruling it out. But anyway, my other idea is Interior Design. I love to decorated, rearrange, anything dealing with home decor I love! I have the game Sims 3, most people play with the Sims, I build/decorate their home. If it's a "dump" I make it as elegant as can be. I love hands-on, making a place come alive. If I had the money, I would redecorate my parent's house. I could make it look ten times better than it does. Not that they don't have a nice looking house, it's just I could take it so much further! I pin so many home ideas on Pinterest that I would like in my home, or to do to someone else's. I love Interior Design! 
      So that's my contradiction.  It is so hard in choosing one. So I am seriously thinking of double-majoring. Interior design as the main profession, but writing on the side in my free time. I can write and publish as they get finished. That way I can do both of my loves. 
      All my previous English teachers are probably saying she shouldn't write, but that's because (and yes I admit it) I didn't really give it my all. It was because it wasn't my topic, and it wasn't my style. Even a free-write isn't the same, because there is just a line you do not cross in school. But I promise I have more potential. I wrote a story in thirty minutes for a history class as an assignment and my teacher said that I had the best story out of anyone, and that I should seriously think about making my writing public and make it a profession. She didn't even know me, she was my online teacher. I have had a couple other people that I have shared writing with say I should make it a profession, but  I didn't really start thinking seriously about it until this past school year (10th grade). 
      I have big dreams for myself, and I am not saying that any will come true, but I have been put down enough to have lots of motivation to push myself as far as I want to go. (Not talking about anyone in my family) I have been called dumb, I was told I was not smart enough to go to Liberty University (LU). I would never make it in my dreams. I should just go to a community college and then maybe I would get into East Carolina University (ECU).  I have news for that person..ECU is not everything, it is not the best college out there, and a lot of people go there. It is easier to get in there than LU, UNC, NCSU, and that is just not the path I want to take. I don't want to be everyone else from here. I want to be my own person, I want to be Kara. Everyone else is already taken. And just because you think you are the best thing doesn't mean you are. Someone once told me, "You can make your dreams happen if you work for them, it may not be easy, and it may be a long road. But if you give in to what everyone else is doing, and not fight for your dreams, your dreams will not come true. If you fight you have a chance. If you fight it's gonna be hard for people to say no but for so long, because if you fight, they know you mean it. Work for your dreams, make them reality, don't let them be dreams forever. Fly." That is what I plan to do. I am not letting that one person put me down any longer. She can say what she wants, but that's only gonna make me push harder. It's my dream not hers. 
     With that, I really think I may double major. Maybe that's where my dreams begin. 







**I am going to post the story I wrote for my online history class next.**