Burning Wildfire

Love is like a wildfire,

it starts uncontrolled,

it eventually becomes somewhat tamed,

but what is different about wildfires and love,

you may want want the wildfire to continue,

letting it be burning love,

Burning Wildfire.

Some people say that love hurts,

its true,

fire hurts,

but what keeps the fire,

is something to fight for.

Fire fights for trees,

people fight for love. 

Burning Wildfire.

People that have true love,

have passion.

Where there is passion,

there is a fire burning. 

Where there is a fire burning,

there is love.

Where there is love, 

there is happiness,

but that is if it's true love.

Burning Wildfire.

So, why do people say that love hurts,

it's because it isn't true love.

But at times, that is not entirely true.

I at times do not understand the term "true love"

what is "true love"? 

I see love as passion for someone.

Burning Wildfire.

How do you fall into love?

Is there a hole you both fall into?

No.

Your heart recognizes the puzzle piece it's missing in their heart.

That's love.

That's true love.

That's falling in love.

The pieces fall into place,

"falling in love".

Burning Wildfire.

PASSION.

Simple Memory Day/ Here I Am Poem

Today was not just another day. It wasn't one of those days that you had, but would soon forget what happened. No, today was a good day, one that you would cherish for the rest of your life. They say that your high school years are your best. Though I would not know if that is true or not, if it is true, this one would go in the books. No, nothing out of the ordinary happened, no heroic thing was done. But what made it a good day, was that I learned that the people who are closest to you, and who don't judge you, and can make you laugh without trying, they are your true friends. Though today was not a busy, nor completely laid back day, I think a few of us learned that even though you are doing work in class, you can make whatever you are doing fun with the people you love most. Laughter is the best medicine. So no, nothing major happened, but sometimes, its the simple things that are the best. I don't have to save a life, or win an award to have a good day that would last in my memories forever, I just need the people I love to be riding on the train of life siting next to me the whole way. 

Here I Am

Here I am,

I am in a loud yet quiet room,

my group is working,

and so are the others.

I see my friends all around me.

The one in front of me, 

is a goof,

the one beside me, 

is a character,

the one across from me,

is a hilarious flirt.

Here I am, 

Listening,

Watching,

as funny things are said and done.

I am amused by what is going on,

I laugh,

I even almost cry.

I find myself joining in,

becoming the class clown,

but I have always known I was.

I have always been the funny one in my family.

Here I am,

telling jokes as the people around me listen,

their eyes wide open,

you could see the astonishment in their eyes.

I say one thing,

the one across from me adds to it,

I laugh,

and we go back and forth.

We create a story that can never be told again.

If it were a book, 

we would be best selling authors.

As we start new subjects,

the story intensifies.

I laugh 'til I cry,

then I let out a sigh.

Here I am,

thinking to myself,

one of the best days I have had is almost over.

I know that all good things must come to an end,

so with the time left,

I embraced what was still in.

I ended with the best story I had ever told,

and all my friends were in.

They laughed so hard, 

they could not breathe. 

I said, 

you better calm down,

or you might sneeze!

And after those words,

they laughed even harder,

and through their laughter,

we heard the bell ring,

we said our goodbyes,

and said see you tomorrow.

Here I am,

wondering what tomorrow will bring,

hoping it brings me joy, 

just as today.

I think back to the previous class, 

and decide maybe it's not over,

so I started a new story,

with another good friend.

She laughed, 

and she really cried.

She turned red,

 and I almost died.

Then,

the tables turned,

she told me a story,

and I continued on hers.

I started my own again,

and again she cried.

Here I am,

looking at the clock,

and it is almost time to go again,

I said see you tomorrow,

and the fun will happen again!

I kid you not,

I will tell another story,

this time though,

it will be of the entire day,

because tomorrow, 

I go to a dance,

with these people I have been talking about,

and if I don't die tomorrow,

it will be a good night.

So,

I bid you farewell,

but not for long,

because before you know it...

Here I Am. 

-Kara Barmer

Changing My Blog

So, I've had this blog for a couple of years now. What I used to write was mostly childlike. So I decided to give my blog a new name and I am soon going to take down all my blog posts from earlier on in the blog life. I want to put on my blog types of things that come from my heart and not my head now. So, I'm making this blog more I guess "mature". I guess I am finally opening up to letting people see who I really am and my hobby of writing. I write all the time! It is my escape. It gives me passion.

Christmas Feeling/Poem

As Christmas approaches, I can only think that I wish I was into Christmas this year. I have always loved Christmas, and never thought that it wouldn't excite me, even if it is just one year. This year, the thought of Christmas has been distant. I knew It was coming, but I didn't feel it was coming. Who knew that one day, you could lose the feeling of joy at the Christmas season. I have been dying for the Christmas season to roll around since July. When it got here, it didn't feel like anything to me, it was just another, day, week, month. Nothing seemed to be as it used to be. I haven't lost the love of Christmas, I still love Christmas, it's just, I don't feel it this time. Have I lost my spirit? I don't think so..I mean I surly hope not! I long for the feeling of Christmas. I guess...well...it could be in the past fourteen months, I have gone through things I had never imagined I could face. I didn't realize that I could feel the way I do about certain people, things, or events.

Today marks one week before Christmas day. I am so shocked. I honestly can not believe that there is only a week until Christmas. A day and a half before Christmas Break...Seriously? This year, I will watch Christmas fly by and not even know it knocked on my door. How can that be? Christmas is a big thing around the entire world. Decorations, gifts, songs, movies, etc... How can Christmas come and go without me even glitching? I can see, hear, and touch those things, but metaphorically speaking, I can not feel them. Christmas is all around me. Everyone else I see is so excited for Christmas, and here I am, sitting at a computer, writing on a blog, how I don't feel Christmas. My favorite Christmas song slightly makes me feel the Christmas season when I hear it. When the song goes off, I feel as if it were a dream. How can Christmas just, enter me, and leave me all in the same day, same five minutes. How can Christmas make me see what everyone else is seeing, but when the song ends, it's as if I am blind, but everyone else can see?

As I reminisce on Christmas past, I remember the warm, tingly feeling I received at Christmas time.  I remember how I would hurry to sleep on Christmas Eve night, just to wake early Christmas morning and be told to sit in the hallway because I could not see what "Santa" brought me until my grandparents arrived. I remember how I loved to go see the Christmas lights on Christmas Eve with my Barmer side of the family. After presents from "Santa" on Christmas morning, I would go to my Nana's, have breakfast, and more presents. Then I would go to my Popa's, eat supper, and more presents! It used to excite me. And as I am typing this, I finally have my answer to "Why Can I Not Feel Christmas?"

So, "Why Can I Not Feel Christmas?" I just realized, I need to think about it, remember all the good times with family that have passed on, remember how it feels to be with your family goofing off. I remember how it feels in this moment. For the first time this year, I have just gotten that feeling of excitement for Christmas. There is only one good answer I can think of. God is sending through my Papa, an warm, tingly feeling to make me remember what I loved about Christmas. Papa is telling me, "don't be sad, I will be there, in your heart. Don't miss out on the fun because I am not there, just remember me, and picture me in that pink chair, laughing at Grandma and Aunt Cherry not wanting their picture taken. And all of us in the church van singing "Rudolph the Red Head Derek" as we picked on our uncle." This is my answer, this is what I needed.

The Feeling

I don't have the feeling,

the feeling of warmth,

the feeling of joy,

the feeling of tingle in my bones and stomach.

I don't have excitement,

nor curiosity,

nor longing.

I sit here, wondering how can I not feel Christmas.

I sit here, wondering how can it knock on my door, but I don't hear it.

I sit here, wondering why I am blind, but everyone else can see.

I have my answer...

My heart is stone cold,

like ice has been there for years.

I don't let anything in,

not even a simple memory of my past.

I can not explain why I can not let anything in,

I just feel nothing.

I am empty.

I am joyless.

Then, I begin to reminisce on the past,

it comes to me,

I haven't let myself feel Christmas,

I haven't let myself because I am hurting.

I got a message through my worries,

and it said everything was okay.

So I decided to think on Christmas past,

and there it was,

what I had been looking for,

The warmth,

The Joy,

The feeling of tingle in my bones and stomach.

I have the feeling. 

-Kara Barmer