Over The Past Years....(Estimate 4 1/2 - 5)

In the past four and a half to five years, I have done a lot of growing. I have been finding who I am inside, and who I want to be in the future. This task has not always been the easiest. I've gone through so many rough times, bumpy roads, roller coasters, gone up hills, mountains, whatever you want to say, but its been a journey. There were also good times along the way. The task in finding who I am can not come from me saying I am going to be this person, it came from others teaching me who they were, and what they believe, to find who I am. Though I know mostly who I am, I still have questions, doubts, and fears. I believe that is because everyone I am supposed to learn from has not "driven down my path" yet. I know a lot about myself. I know bits and pieces of the puzzle to who I want to become in the future, but I haven't figured it all out yet. This little "prologue" leads me to the story I want to tell all of you, taking the time to read it. Thank you to everyone who is, because this is one story, I would want the whole world to know, no matter what costs.

**In this story of my life, many people who know me will know who I am referring to. In this case, though you will still probably know who I am talking about, I am going to change the names of all the people in the story, except their first initial. I hope this doesn't offend anyone, and it should not. I am NOT posting anything harmful to anyone, I WILL NOT talk bad about anyone in this blog post. I would never want to hurt anyone.**

The story I am beginning to tell you is a story of part of my Christian walk. However it does include some outside influences.

Today is March 15, 2014. It is 9:59 p.m. I am just now finding the answers to questions I was asked earlier in today. So everyone knows what I am referring to, I think now it is safe to say that my church WEBC (no location or full name for safety) is searching for a new youth pastor. I have been keeping a low profile on this subject because it is not certain yet. (What I mean is, we have found a potential new youth pastor, and it is not certain that he will be the new youth pastor, but my feelings at this moment I feel need to be said. And I promise to go back to low profile after this is over with until anything, and everything is certain.) The "meet and greet" with the potential youth pastor was today. I have known this day was coming for two weeks. I have grown in excitement over the past two weeks about this time, and I will explain later in the story. Anyway, I finally got to meet "Tommy" today. He asked me, along with another fellow youth member some questions about our church, youth, and other things. At that moment, I really could not answer fully how I felt. I am the type of person, when you ask a question about myself, or how I feel, I will continuously search myself for the answer. I have done that since I departed from meeting him. I have finally found one great big answer to his questions. Which my answer starts now.. (By the way, if someone is reading this who has the type of relationship to share this with "Tommy" I wouldn't mind it being shared with him, because it is kind of what he was wanting to know...)

Around four and a half years ago, I was in sixth grade, and twelve years of age. I was greatly fond of your pastor at the time and his family. In that year, we had a new youth pastor be hired. "Tim". As I got to know him, and his wife to be, "Alexis", I became fond of them also. This couple grew on me tremendously. Our pastor left later that year, and it hit me hard, and at this time I was more so fond of them than the youth pastor, and now wife. Luckily, "Tim and Alexis" stepped in and kind of filled their spot. Over the past four years, I have just become so attached to them. During the time that "Tim" was the youth pastor, for the most part, we had a fairly large youth group. I remember the time it was in the twenties. I loved youth so much. (Little anecdote real quick... I can come off as immature sometimes, but people who truly know me know that, that is not true. Immaturity is on front I have at times, which I am not proud of. Immaturity is stupid, and proves nothing. But most of the time, when I am being who I really am, I am probably more mature than most sixteen year old's are expected to be. And I think today, at the meet and greet for youth, I feel like I acted a little immature, and I feel the need to say sorry for that, because "Tommy" didn't get to see the real me. Anyway, back to story...) I still love youth, but in a different way at the moment. It isn't the same not having a youth pastor to be there, and really know that they are there for the long run, and not just temporary.. I love the people who have stepped in as youth teachers for the moment, but I don't want to get too attached because I know its not going to be for long. I know everything doesn't last forever, but there is a big difference between six months, and three to five years. In three years, I wont be thinking about the youth group anymore as in me being in it because in two years, ill be graduating high school, then it will be time to take the next step in life. But at this time, I am so ready for someone to be there the next two years, and not wonder how long its going to be before I can find who I was in my true youth group before it "crashed". Our youth group near the end of "Tim's" time went down to about five people. And it was quite a few more than that. When he left, it dropped to three. Three people is kind of sad, to be honest. Three people isn't a youth group, three people are three high schoolers in the same class at church. Its different to me. "Tim and Alexis" did have a big impact on my life. They taught me things about myself that I didn't know. In "Alexis" I found a best friend, mom, sister, counselor, just a pair of loving, caring, listening ears when I needed her. It didn't matter whether it was with my Faith, or with something outside of church, she was there. I must say, it has been hard, really hard to let her go. I don't know that I ever truly will be able to completely break the bond of her. And honestly, I don't want to completely. I know, that things change throughout the church. Nothing stays the same forever, but when you get attached to something, you don't want to let it go. She has been such a Godly inspiration to me. She is someone truly hard to find in today's world. She will always hold an everlasting touch on me. As far as "Tim", he brought me closer to God through what he taught. He had a great strategy, which was putting fun together with learning. The homework was just talking to God. It is so easy to talk to God when you have an open heart, even when you have done wrong. That is because is the most forgiving. I have had a long battle with what I believe in. I think if every Christian does not go through this period of finding what they believe, they really don't know what they are believing in. I gave my life to Christ at a church camp back in fourth or fifth grade. I knew that's what I was doing. That didn't mean all of my questions were answered. Summer of 2013, I found a lot of what I was looking for. One day after church, I came home, cried and cried, opened my Bible, and the verse that it led me to was the answer I needed all along. What I had heard all my life had finally made sense. I rededicated my life right then and there. It changed my heart in so many ways. The first person I told, was "Alexis" so she forever has this place in my heart for being so key for me to tell what I found out. Also through our mission trips they allowed me to meet lifetime friends that are now my "adoptive parents" who I love just about as much as I love my real parents.(also Michelle and John Boy) The good thing is, I don't have to give up "Jess and Petty" because they are true friends, that I would do anything for. And I don't want to say they are really replacing "Tim and Alexis" but they are in a sense taking on the role of them, but are so much more. In the one week I stayed with them, I grew an everlasting bond with them. "Petty" stood up for me and "Elaine" in a hard time that week, and he didn't even know us all that well. But by the end of that week, it seemed as if we had known each other for the longest time, because they knew everything there was to know about me, and I know I can go to them for anything, and they would be there for me. And "Jess" she is like a mom, best friend, sister, loving open eared person. she is almost like my rock, I guess she is my second one. I have so much love for them that is  crazy. I can never thank "Tim and Alexis" enough for bringing them into my life, because they are such a big part of me. In all this story (I am so not done) I think "Tommy" needs to know this... I am still very fond of "Tim and Alexis" and they will always have a special place in my heart. But I have grown over the past six months, and I feel, though I can't forget them, nor say my final goodbye to them, I am finally ready to open up a new spot in my heart for someone new. I am ready to have another great youth experience with someone new. I am ready to continue to learn more about myself, and who I am. I am more than just mentally ready for all this. Though it was hard mentally to be ready, the hardest part was my heart. Though it took time to open a space for someone new to lead me as a Christian, my heart is finally ready to let someone in. That is why, when I found out that there was a potential new youth minister, I was so overfilled with joy. So "Tommy" I felt like you needed to know that. As far as your other questions you may have asked, or wanted to know, here are some possibly answers. 



*This is mostly for "Tommy" now*

I am Kara, obviously. I love Marching Band, and I love playing instruments. Without music, I wouldn't be who I am because it is such a big part of me. 

You met my brother, and he is like one of my best friends ever... period. 

I love to write. I want to be a writer one day, though many people don't know I love to write and want to be a writer. But I guess having a blog might explain part of that. I haven't told anyone but one person until right now when you read this that I have written three books, though the only people who have read them are God and I. Now the whole world knows about this.... great...

I have a great sense of humor....seriously...ask anyone. I can make anyone laugh that I want to...it comes from my mom's side of the family, although she does not have this trait. I am the life of the dinner table, and am a total class clown...

I love church...if you haven't found that out already by the story I told..well...wow

I love history. Especially American History and the Holocaust. I want to be a history teacher then professor one day. I feel that History Teacher and Writer is my calling.

I want to go to Liberty University in Lynchburg VA

I am very much a Tar Heels fan

I love so many Christian bands... (Ex. Skillet, RED, Family Force 5, Jamie Grace, Toby Mac, Lecrae, Newsboys, Building 429, many others....)

My favorite genre of music is most definitely country.

I am very much a country person, and most of the time have country slang/accent

If you ask me what type of vehicles I like, I will say BIG TRUCKS....PERIOD (no I do not like cars, vans, and most SUV's)

I can sing on a good day

I play the Piano often

I hate math

Kinda love English

I've been to France...and yes, the Eiffel Tower is pretty awesome

Obviously you know what I drive...

Obviously you know what I look like...

Favorite Color: Lime/Neon Green

Yes I like baseball, because I know you're wondering...I do all the scoring for our Varsity and JV baseball teams along with a friend

Why yes.. I am 6 ft tall....

Yes, I do have big visions for the church. I would love to see our church population grow...I would love to incorporate young people into the church service. 

I already told you about "The Light"

Anymore questions... ask me laterrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

And by the way "Tommy" at the moment, from what I know, you have my vote...and if you do as good preaching tomorrow as I think you will, I don't think that will change!